Ferris In Wonderland
by rococorose
Summary: Every series needs some sort of " - In Wonderland" version, so here it is! Mostly following the Disney story of Alice in Wonderland.
1. Chapter 1

Spring had sprung in Imperial Nelpha. Flowers were beginning to bloom, the leaves were returning to the trees, and the clouds had disappeared to reveal a golden sun. Unfortunately, our heroes were unable to enjoy such a perfect day thanks to the latest set of orders from their king: investigate and collect a hero relic believed to be in the area. Ryner and Ferris were obviously working hard; Ryner working on his napping skills and Ferris working on her open backpack of dango, that is. Depending on how you look at it, you could say neither of them was really working at all.

Ferris was perched in a tree, dango in hand. She let the sun warm her face as she imagined the ways she could make that horrible, slave-driving king pay for making her work on such a day. She could break into his office and steal his dango, for example. Or she could break into the throne room and steal his dango. Or break into the country's dango storehouse and steal every last piece of his dango. Breaking things and eating dango were her specialties, after all. She glanced down at her partner sprawled out rather ungracefully at the base of the tree, snoring loudly and drooling unpleasantly. Perhaps he would be willing to go along with her plans? He must want to make the king suffer too, his rage only intensified by the recent cuts he had to make in his sleeping schedule (he must be down to only nineteen hours of sleep a day now). Yes, he certainly would aid her in her dango-thieving…erm…she meant king-torturing… scheme.

"RYNER!" she yelled, eager to recruit him as an accomplice in her evil plan. A sleepy moan was the only response she got. _The pervert, what is he dreaming about to be moaning like that_? she thought. "RYYYNERRRRRR!" she tried again, this time beginning to draw her sword. Another sleepy moan. The creep was probably dreaming of her in an embarrassing costume or something. Something with rabbit ears and a cotton tail, no doubt. Just the thought made her finish unsheathing the sword and whack him over the head without hesitation.

_ That_ got his attention. "OWWWW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" her lazy, useless friend screamed. The idiot had probably lost whatever vile thoughts he had been dreaming, so she decided to skip calling him a pervert for once and move straight to her plan. "Listen, Ryner," she began. "How would you like to get revenge on…" she stopped. Something was wrong. "Revenge on…" Ryner encouraged. Ferris was left speechless as a pair of white fluffy ears began to grow from her friend's head. They grew longer and longer until they reached at least two feet tall. "Uhhhh" was the only response she could give as Ryner's feet began to change. His shoes burst open, revealing massive toes covered in more white fur. "Ry…Ryner…" she tried to speak, but was silenced by the short, stubby tail which had emerged from the back of Ryner's pants.

_ Oh_, she thought, a bit worried, _Ryner has infected me with his perverted ways! Now I'M picturing HIM in embarrassing costumes!_

"Forget it," said Ryner a little impatiently, but still sleepily. "We should probably get going anyway." Ryner pulled a pocket watch out of his Roland military uniform. Ferris wondered just where he had gotten such a fancy watch. "We're late," Ryner announced, beginning to walk away. "We had a very important date at the library three hours ago. We are very, very late."

Ryner, still looking very much like a rabbit, was so entranced by the little pocket watch that he forgot to look where he was walking. "Watch out, idiot!" Ferris yelled a little too late as Ryner tumbled to the ground and down a fairly large hole. In fact, it was so large that Ferris couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't seen it from her tree.

"RYYYYYYNERRRRRRRR!" she yelled yet again, calling to him from the edge of the hole. If he died, who would carry her seventeen backpacks of dango? She began to panic and called his name even louder. She drew her sword. "If you don't come back here and carry my dango I'll…" she didn't have time to finish her threat as the edge she was sitting on began to crumble, sending her flying down the hole after her friend.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometime during the long fall Ferris began to wonder what would happen if rabbit-Ryner wasn't lying at the bottom to break her fall. Would she hit the ground? Or maybe this hole went on forever. Her worries were soon calmed as her still-unsheathed sword transformed into an open umbrella, allowing her to drift down more slowly. Ferris was certainly confused by this sudden transformation but she wasn't about to question it. Now that she was falling slower, she began to become aware of nearby floating objects, even bumping into several unidentified masses. She reached out for one. _A lamp!_ She turned the little handle and the hole was suddenly filled with a dim light.

The sights around her astonished her. She was completely surrounded by what appeared to be the king's office furniture. _Maybe the Dango Gods heard my plans and are helping me get to the king,_ she thought. First came the old wooden desk, followed by a flurry of papers. An unrolled map of the continent was close behind. Next was the little couch her and Ryner always sat on as they watched the king work, only sometimes bothering to help. A mirror floated by and Ferris was pleased to see that, unlike that idiot, she did not have long ears or a tail. After a few minutes of watching pencils and pens and even a small houseplant float by she suddenly landed on Sion's chair. Her relaxation was only momentary, ending as the chair tipped and she began her fall again.

The umbrella resumed its proper form as a sword and Ferris fell the last few feet into an oddly decorated room. As she got up off the floor she noticed it very much resembled a checkerboard. She lifted her head and saw the identical checkerboard walls and ceiling. _Ceiling?,_ she thought, _What happened to the hole?_. Before she could assess the situation further she heard an unmistakable voice repeating "We're late we're late we're late." Ferris raised her sword towards the sound and called, "Found you, Ryner!" She ran down the checkerboard corridors after the voice and caught up just in time to see Ryner, still in rabbit form, disappear through a door. A tiny door. _I'm smaller than Ryner, so I should fit too,_ she thought. She opened the door only to find…

Another door. And another behind that. And another and another and another. She grabbed the next doorknob and twisted. "OWWWW" she heard a voice cry. Ferris looked around for the source of the voice but did not see anyone else in the room. "Get your hand off my nose!" the voice commanded. _Nose?_ Ferris looked down. Indeed, the door had grown a face! With eyes and a mouth and, just as the door said, her hand was gripping the doorknob-nose. She looked closer and was slightly surprised to find she recognized the face on the door.

"Aren't you that Nelpha border guard I hit with my sword a while back?" she asked. She clearly remembered leaving this guy unconscious on the ground as her and Ryner illegally entered the country. But how did he end up here, on a door? "I don't recall," answered the door. "I don't believe I've ever been hit with a sword." Maybe she was mistaken?

"Have you seen a rabbit?" Ferris asked the door. Talking to a door! She must be going crazy! The door opened its mouth to allow her to look through. There he was! Hopping away! She had to catch him. Ferris grabbed the door's nose once again.

"You won't fit like that!" said the door, "You're too big." Before she had a chance to feel insulted, the door spoke again. "Look over there on the table." How had Ferris not noticed the table earlier? Now she was sure she was crazy. Or Ryner drugged her for one of his perverted schemes…

She immediately noticed a distinct smell in the air. _Dango?_ She ran eagerly to the little table standing in the middle of the room and, as she had predicted, there was a dango skewer and a cup of tea. "Eat Me," said a little card beside the dango. You didn't have to tell Ferris twice. She quickly and enthusiastically gobbled the first ball of dango, barely noticing when the stick grew too big for her hands. "It's… growing?" asked Ferris. No, it wasn't growing, she was shrinking! "Now I can fit!" Ferris told the door, trying to pull the remainder of the giant dango behind her as she approached. She grabbed the door's nose for the third time and twisted.

Nothing happened. "I'm locked, of course," the door told her in a very matter-of-fact tone. "You remembered the key, didn't you?" Ferris looked up, and of course there was the key sitting what seemed like a mile above her on the glass table. "Try the second ball of dango," suggested the door. Ferris tore off a more manageable chunk of the huge dango and shoved it in her mouth. She got bigger and bigger as she continued to enjoy her snack. To her great annoyance, her head hitting the ceiling interrupted her eating. She was now holding a toothpick sized dango stick and her body was filling up the whole room! "But I'll never fit like this!" she cried. "STUPID DOOR" she screamed as she tried to draw her equally giant sword, knocking over the teacup sitting on the table. "Wait!" begged the door as tea began to flood the little room. "Finish your dango!" The final ball of dango was barely the size of Ferris' smallest fingernail, but she wasn't about to say no to dango.

The final piece of dango had the desired effect, shrinking her back down. But _Oh! _The room was flooded with an ocean of tea! Ferris hugged the now empty dango stick tight, hoping it would be enough to keep her afloat. She grew smaller and smaller and the tea ocean grew higher and higher, until she was able to float right through the door's keyhole mouth. "Take that, idiot door!" she giggled as she realized that, with her intelligence and beauty, she had outsmarted the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! I am having a lot of fun writing this story, and I hope you are having fun reading it!  
><strong>**I was hoping to be able to add a chapter every week, but school has been pretty crazy lately. Actually, finals start next week so the next chapter might be late too... I promise I'll get back on track eventually, but until then enjoy Chapter Three!**

Ferris continued to be tossed around by the stormy sea, long ago having lost sight of the talking door. She hugged her oversized dango stick tightly, although her soaked armour was beginning to cut into her skin. The tea which made up the ocean dyed the fabric of her shirt a slightly darker shade. Her hair was tangled and her fingers and toes were wrinkled. _Damn that rabbit_ she thought._ Damn that king! Damn that talking door!_

Ferris continued to float–and to blame everybody but herself for her current situation—for quite a while longer. Eventually the rain stopped, but her mood did not improve.

The night passed by slowly, Ferris drifting in and out of sleep, her belt looped around the dango stick to keep her from falling off. She opened her eyes to a calmer morning, land still nowhere to be seen. A nearby sound caught her attention. Singing?

"Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me…" sang the voice. She was filled with hope of rescue as she tried to peek over the waves. What she saw was the farthest thing from a rescue ship. It was just a little curly haired girl, floating along on a raft not much bigger than Ferris' stick. "How I love to sail over the bounding sea…" her song continued in a voice Ferris was sure she had heard before.

The girl floated on past without even glancing at Ferris, but her hope was revived when she saw the small boat following close behind. "Wait for us, Captain," called the first of the four paddling the little canoe. "Luke, she's getting too far aheaaad!" whined the second passenger. "Don't worry. Captain Milk wouldn't run away," the one named Luke reassured.

Milk? Luke? _Don't tell me…_ Ferris thought. _It can't be! The Taboo Breakers!? How did THEY get here? _It really didn't matter who they were or why they were there. She needed to be rescued right away. "Oi, Taboo Breakers! Come back here," she called to the four in the canoe. They didn't hear her, or ignored her, and simply continued to paddle after their captain. Ferris took one hand off the dango stick and tried to wave. It was no use; she had to get up higher. She threw one leg over the stick, then the other. Removing her hands, she tried to stand up.

And she fell. She was usually a strong swimmer, but her heavy clothing and armour were weighing her down. The dango stick drifted away as she struggled to stay afloat. "I'm going to drown, thanks to that idiot Ryner!"Ferris yelled between mouthfuls of tea-water. She kicked harder and, surprisingly enough, her foot hit the bottom. "Don't tell me I could touch the bottom that whole tiiiiime!" she complained to herself, her annoyance at its peak. If only a certain someone was there for her to whack with her sword…

The water continued to recede, revealing a small beach on the edge of a forest. On that beach, Captain Milk and her subordinates were sitting around a fire. Ferris didn't even bother to question how a fire had emerged from the ocean; she had already seen too many unusual things. The captain was still singing her little song, and the others were breathing heavily from the effort of trying to catch up to her. "You!" screamed Ferris accusingly, "Why did you leave me! I could have drowned!"

Milk, not having noticed the soaked, seaweed covered Ferris, turned around. "Ferris is here? But that means Ryner's here too!" reasoned the slightly over excited captain. The words were barely out of her mouth when a dripping wet white rabbit washed up on the beach. The rabbit recovered quickly, pulling out his pocket watch before running off into the forest. "Wait, Ryner," Ferris called after him. She was about to take off after him when she felt something grab her. "Oh no, you don't," said Milk, "Ryner will finally be free of you and your evil, enslaving ways!"

"What! It's not like that!" Ferris tried to explain before being cut off by Milk screaming for Ryner to run faster. Ferris kicked her legs, succeeding in escaping the young captain's grip, and chased her friend into the forest.

**Note: I didn't write the song Milk is singing. It's the song the Dodo sings in Disney's_ Alice in Wonderland_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took me so long to update! I'll be better, I promise! But Chapter 4 is finally here! Finally!  
>This one is pretty silly, but I love the idea of Tiir doing normal people things so I just couldn't resist~<br>**

* * *

><p>Ferris had been running for what felt like hours—but was in reality only a few minutes—into the forest. The path was thinning, weeds overgrown along the edges. The sun was dim through the leaves, creating an eerie, green light. Ferris hardly noticed, too focused on finding that rabbit and chopping its damn head off. How dare Ryner cause her such pain, such a feeling of emptiness? Emptiness in her stomach, that is. Her dango stash had run out quite a while ago.<p>

As Ferris continued down the path, she began to feel like she was being followed. She could feel a pair of eyes on her back. Putting a hand on her sword, she proceeded more cautiously. The feeling did not go away. Spinning around too fast for a normal person to see, she pointed her sword toward the thick trees and yelled "FOUND YOU!"

Nobody there. "Huh," she said to herself, "I was sure…" She usually wasn't wrong about these things, but clearly there was nobody in the forest in front of her. Just the occasional bird or squirrel rustling the leaves. Totally normal. "A little too normal..." Ferris said. In fact, it was the first normal scene since she fell down the hole. After standing still a few more seconds, Ferris decided to continue on her walk. Less than five minutes passed before the feeling returned again. This time Ferris was sure she was being watched. Once again, she spun around. And there, half hidden in a bush, she saw somebody she would have preferred to never see again.

As Ferris stood there, sword ready, the figure in the bush struggled to extract his pink hair from the branches. He looked rather ridiculous, tangled up like that. "You IDIOT," screamed a little voice from somewhere above Ferris. "You RUINED EVERYTHING! Our only job was to follow her, and you go and get STUCK IN A BUSH!" A large scythe fell from an overhead tree branch, followed closely by Kuu as she moved to help her brother. "Sorry…" replied Sui, still quite stuck. "Maybe I'll just have to cut your hair off," snapped the obviously annoyed Kuu. Ferris looked open mouthed at the two Gastark soldiers, still too shocked to speak. Luckily, Kuu answered all Ferris' questions without her having to ask. "We were following you," she said matter-of-factly, "because we thought you would lead us to the magical relics."

"Oh," answered Ferris, "I'm sorry to disappoint, but we're not looking for relics today. Actually, I'm looking for Ryner…"

"What's a… a Ryner?" asked Sui, looking confused. _What's a Ryner? _thought Ferris, _How can he not remember Ryner? _"Ryner?," Ferris began, "Pervert, about this tall, alpha stigma…"

Sui, who was now free from the bush but still picking twigs from his hair, jumped back at the mention of the alpha stigma. Kuu gasped and paled. "You're following an alpha stigma?" asked Kuu a bit nervously. "Of course," answered Ferris, "he's my punching bag and tea-drinking companion."

The two siblings looked at each other. "How sad," said Sui. "Quite sad indeed," replied Kuu. "Very, very sad," Sui continued. Ferris looked back and forth between the two. "Well," said Kuu, "You know what happened the last girl who went running into a forest after the bearer of cursed eyes." "Of course she knows the story. _Everyone_ knows that story," Sui said in a low voice. Kuu looked up at Ferris, "Poor thing."

"What happened?" Ferris asked curiously, finally lowering her sword. She shouldn't be wasting time, but a few minutes couldn't hurt much. Sui looked at her, mildly surprised. "You have never heard the story? We'll tell you, then!"

The pink haired duo cleared their throats. "It happened on a day much like today, not very long ago," said Kuu. "Quite like today, not long ago at all," said Sui…

**ooo**

A few years ago, in a forest just north of Roland, an odd group of people made their home. They claimed to be in possession of 'Gods Eyes'. Separated from humans, this group lived a fairly peaceful and normal life… until lunchtime.

Of course the villagers knew of their neighbours in the forest, but the funny thing about the 'Gods Eyes' monsters is that they look just like everyone else.

One bright and sunny afternoon, one such bearer of 'Gods Eyes' by the name of Tiir set out pick up some groceries. Tiir sulked as he strolled down the forest path. He hated going to town, but it was his turn so there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

Exiting the forest, Tiir wandered his way through the village's winding streets, eventually finding his way to the grocery store. He hated being around humans, but even his 'Gods Eyes' family had to eat. He figured he might as well get this over with as quickly as possible, so he grabbed a cart and crept into the crowded store. He took a quick look at his shopping list. Pretty normal. Eggs and milk and apples and all that. He weaved up and down the aisles, being careful to stay away from those disgusting pests called humans. First the produce, then the bakery, followed by the frozen food.

Relief began to set in as Tiir crossed off more and more items on his list. Finally it was time to pay for his food and go home. The girl at the cash register was pleasant enough, as far as humans went. "Have a nice day," she said, smiling. Tiir didn't respond, not wasting time as he grabbed his bags and bolted for the door.

"How rude," mumbled the young cashier, watching that weird guy walk out the door. The girl turned her attention back to her work, ringing in the next customer. "Excuse me, but this bag isn't mine," said the woman who had just paid for her groceries. Darn! That weirdo must have forgotten a bag! The girl put up her 'lane closed' sign and took off out the door after Tiir.

Some time later, Tiir was back home restocking his cupboards. He quickly realised a bag was missing. "Darn! I forgot tonight's supper!" he moaned, imagining the childrens' wrath upon learning that their dango had been forgotten.

That's around the time Tiir heard a knock on his front door. "Sir," a voice said, "You forgot a bag! I chased you through the forest and now I…" Tiir swung open the door. Looks like supper would be served after all.

The girl reached out to hand Tiir the bag, and Splat! That was the end of her! Tiir gobbled her up! "I guess I'll skip the dango tonight," Tiir said to himself, his stomach full of the girl as he licked his lips and returned to the kitchen to finish cleaning up.

**ooo**

"The end," announced Kuu as the pair finished their story. "Wasn't that a lovely story?" asked Sui.

Ferris felt ridiculous, wasting her time on these two. Of course Ryner didn't eat people! Now she was even farther behind the rabbit, thanks to Sui and Kuu. She glanced over at them. They were still going on about the scary cursed eyes monsters, too heated in their discussion to notice Ferris slip away and continue her journey down the path deeper into the forest.


End file.
